Tuesday, December 31, 2013

How To Make New Year's Resolutions You Can Achieve: Guaranteed!

Yes.  Seriously.  Guaranteed.  Well, almost guaranteed.  I certainly don't have any say about what your New Year's Resolutions are, how you go about achieving them, and how serious you really are about achieving them; but, what I can offer is a way to approach your Resolutions so your chance of success is much greater than it would be otherwise - practically guaranteed!  And, as an added bonus, they are more likely to reflect who you truly are and will therefore be Self Strong New Year's Resolutions!

Some people declare New Year's Resolutions because "everyone else does" and they kinda think they have to have one but don't really care either way.  Some people declare their New Year's Resolutions because they really want to have one and they really want to achieve it.  Still others are ambivalent about whether or not to declare one and if they do, whether or not they want to achieve it.

Do you know which one you are?  If you want to set and achieve a New Year's Resolution, even a little bit, then this post is for you.  If you don't want to declare a New Year's Resolution because they've never "worked" in the past - this post is for you too.

New Year's Resolutions often reflect our hope for the future.  We hope to be better in some way, or to make the world a better place.  Basically, the idea behind New Year's Resolutions is that we can leave behind what we didn't like about the previous year(s) and embark on a path that will lead to greater happiness and overall satisfaction.  Philosophically, New Year's Resolutions are a really nice idea.  The problem is most of us make really bad New Year's Resolutions.  I don't mean to suggest that what you are striving for is "bad" but the way in which you declare your Resolution almost guarantees you won't reach it.

Despite the pomp and circumstance, and lore surrounding New Year's Resolutions they are nothing more than goals.  Yup.  Your New Year's Resolutions are goals and most of us embark on our New Year's Goals on January 1st with hope but not much else.  What follows is a description of how to set effective goals.  I'll keep it in the language of New Year's Resolutions, but make no mistake, we're talking about goal setting and there is much the field of psychology (and in particular sport psychology) knows about setting effective goals.  So, if you'd rather keep your New Year's Resolutions in the realm of the ethereal, it's probably not a good idea to read any further.  I'm going to pull back the curtain, take away the mystery and awe, and provide step by step instructions on setting effective New Year's Resolutions Goals.

So, how do you set achievable New Year's Resolutions?  They need to be SMART.  Nope.  I'm not yelling at you.  "SMART" is an acronym to remember several important elements in setting effective goals.  So to begin...what is your New Year's Resolution?  It is useful to have your Resolution in mind as we go through this.  If you're not yet sure, come back to this post when you have decided on your Resolution and go through these steps to make sure your Resolution is a SMART one.

Making SMART New Year's Resolutions

1. Specific.  Your New Year's Resolution needs to be specific.
It is common for people to declare Resolutions that are murky, muddled and non-specific.  While Resolutions like "Lose Weight" or "Study Harder" or "Be a Better Person" sound specific, they are not.  This criteria will help recraft your Resolution so you can achieve it this year.  The "Specific" step encompasses much of what will follow with the other four criteria, but considering these things up front will help as you hone your Resolution throughout the remaining steps.

When crafting Specific Resolutions, it is useful to consider the questions that often show up on party invitations (and a few that don't):

     Who?  Does your Resolution only involve you?  Does it require anyone else?  Or do you
     need help/support from anyone else to help you achieve your Resolution?  Do you need a
     Resolution buddy - someone with a similar Resolution and/or who can be a cheerleader for 
     you?
     What?  What, specifically, do you want to accomplish with your Resolution?  Do you just
     want to put in more hours studying or do you hope to earn a specific GPA? 
     Where?  Okay, yes, on earth.  But where, specifically?  Does working toward your
     Resolution only occur at home, at work, at the mall, all of the above?  Knowing this can help 
     you plan and adjust when necessary.
     When?  I don't think most people think in terms of "over what period of time" their Resolution
     will take place but it is useful to do so.  Is this an ongoing Resolution - i.e., does "becoming
     a better person" go on forever?  Or, is your Resolution achievable in a specified period of
     time - i.e., 2 weeks?  3 months?  A few days?  Establishing the time-line is critical to setting
     effective Resolutions.
     Why?  Why this particular Resolution?  Why is it important to you?  The "Why" question gets
     at your motivation for the Resolution.  As you think about your answer(s) to this question, you 
     may find that your reason(s) for setting your particular Resolution are not sustainable, 
     especially if your reason(s) have to do with someone else - i.e., to get someone else's 
     attention, to make someone do or be something different.  Be sure your Resolution is
     something truly meaningful to you and something you really want to achieve.

2. Measurable.  Your New Year's Resolution needs to be Measurable.
When something is measurable it means that you can quantify it in some way.  Being able to measure your Resolution allows you to know when a change has been made - and ultimately, when your Resolution has been achieved.  This part of SMART Resolution building means that you need concrete criteria for how you're going to measure your progress.  

Saying that you want "more" or "less" of something, or to be "better" at something is not measurable (nor is it specific for that matter).  More or less than what?  Better than what?  How will you know when to stop?  Or when you're better enough?  For example, a common New Year's Resolution is to "Lose Weight" (I'm not a fan of this one for a multitude of reasons, but it is a common one nonetheless.).  How much?  You'll know when you lose weight, but will you know when to stop?  How will you measure this?  By a number on a scale?  By how your clothes fit?  Which clothes?  When are you trying them on or when are you weighing yourself (our weight fluctuates throughout the day)?  Regardless of what your Resolution is, you need to figure out how you're going to measure it so you have a clear picture of your progress.

Having a concrete way to measure your Resolution helps to guarantee that you'll not only know whether or not you're headed in the right direction, but when you've achieved what you Resolved to achieve.

3. Attainable.  Your Resolution must be something you can Attain.
There is some overlap between this one and the next; however, this one captures the notion of "how."  How are you going to achieve your Resolution?  What steps do you have to take to achieve it.  So you want to "Study Harder."  That's nice.  How are you going to go about doing that?  Do you need to attend class more frequently?  Read the book and complete the assignments?  Find a more quiet place to study?  Are these and other things you are willing to do?  If not, your Resolution is not achievable or attainable.

4. Realistic.  Is your Resolution Realistic for you?  
Have you set a Resolution that is realistic for you?  Are you able to do what needs to be done in order to achieve your Resolution?  This criteria focuses on your capacity to reach the Resolution you've declared.  Do you have the skills and abilities to achieve your Resolution?  Have you set a time frame (see #5 below) that is realistic for you to achieve your Resolution?  This criteria may require some brutal honesty from you or someone else you trust.  If you have never earned an A in a class in your life, is it realistic to Resolve to get a 4.0 for the semester?  Maybe it genuinely is a realistic Resolution - only you know know that.  Maybe you know you've never taken your studies seriously and have never put in the time and effort to reach your fullest potential in this way.  On the other hand, if you have consistently worked really hard in your studies and have never earned an A, it is likely that a 4.0 is not realistic...but another GPA might be.

Take stock of who you are and what skills and abilities you have.  Check these out with someone else who cares about you and whom you trust.  See if they agree that you are capable of achieving your Resolution.  If they hesitate - enlist their help for how you might make it more realistic.  The cool thing is, if you change your Resolution to something seemingly more realistic and you find along the way that the original Resolution is in fact achievable...you can change back to that one (see Final Thoughts below)!

5. Timely.  Your New Year's Resolution should be Timely or have a Time frame.
Your Resolution needs a time frame.  How much time do you need - overall and for each step (see #3 above) along the way?  Not giving yourself a specific time or date of completion allows for procrastination.  You can just keep putting it off until it is "too late" (not sure when things really are too late but it can feel that way).  This criteria can also help you determine how Realistic your Resolution is.  Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew when it comes to setting due dates for ourselves.  We mean well, but haven't really thought through if we can realistically accomplish what we think we can given everything else going on in our lives.  If you know something requires 40 hours to complete and you think "That's like a work week.  I have a week off from work right now.  I can make that happen."  Really?  Is that what you want to do during that week.  Were you hoping for more down time?  Will your kids/spouse/friends/family support this?  Perhaps it is realistic; but, again it is important to be honest with yourself about your time frame and due dates.

Final Thoughts About Making Achievable New Year's Resolutions

SMART Resolutions are not nearly as exciting as setting Resolutions the good old fashioned way.  Setting Resolutions like you're used to is a lot playing craps.  You declare your Resolution then roll the dice and see what happens.  Maybe you'll achieve it.  Maybe you won't.  That can be kind of exciting.  You don't know what will happen.  But if you want to have a better chance of predicting success, work your Resolutions in a SMART way.  

Two final thoughts that are not directly a part of SMART goal setting but are also important: 1) The Wording of Your Resolution and 2) Flexibility.

     The Wording of your Resolution
     Goals and Resolutions tend to be more effective (i.e., achievable) when they are worded in
     the affirmative.  That is, worded in terms of what you want do rather than what you don't
     want to do.  Saying what you don't want to do sets a more negative tone and depending on 
     the Resolution can immediately set up a sense of deprivation - "I am not allowed to do this 
     any more" - which usually does not feel good.  So instead of "I am no longer going to eat
     any chips or sweets" (that one is a recipe for disaster anyway) a more effective Resolution 
     would be "I want to eat more fruits, vegetables and lean meats."  Note that the word "more" 
     needs to be defined so it is Specific and Measurable.

     Flexibility
     If you, in good, faith work with your New Year's Resolution to make it a SMART one and you 
     find that it is not working out, you can change it!  We so often think, although I don't know 
     why, that Goals and Resolutions are set in stone.  What if you learned something about
     yourself or your situation that you didn't know up front (or couldn't face)?  Why should you
     torture yourself by spinning your wheels trying to achieve a Resolution you now know you
     can't realistically achieve, or don't have what you need right now in order to achieve it?  Or
     what if your Resolution wasn't challenging enough?  You thought it was, but found that you 
     want to push yourself further.  There is no reason you cannot change your Resolution 
     to reflect the current reality of your life.

So there you have it.  A 5 step process and a couple of additional pointers to help you set Self Strong New Year's Resolutions you can achieve (almost) guaranteed!  Here's to your SMART Resolutions.  And Happy New Year!


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