I'm also a sport psychologist and one of the things I see sometimes in my work are athletes who are not playing their game. They're playing someone else's game. Playing at someone else's pace, on the defensive when they're better at being offensive, etc. Whether they are trying to play like someone else or they are pushed outside of their game in the course of a competition they are not playing their game. The game of life is no different.
On a daily basis we are bombarded by commercials, images, and indeed messages from friends and family telling us how we should be and what we ought to be doing. Some messages are intended to get you to spend money other messages are intended to keep the sender of the message comfortable. A not quite so serious, but humorous example of this is some version of - parent to child - "Put on your jacket - I'm cold!" The idea of course is that the parent's experience trumps the child's (And no. I'm not talking about a child going out in freezing temperatures without a jacket). Regardless of the intent, these messages ignore one of, if not the most important elements: YOU!
If I tell you that you need my product in order to improve your looks, your intellect, your ability to get a date I have to rely on my ability to get you to believe that you are lacking in those areas and offer you a solution to your problem. I have no idea who you are or if you even need what I have to sell, but I'm bound and determined to capitalize on your insecurities so you buy my message and eventually my product (there's a reason the diet/beauty industry is a $60 BILLION a year industry). Likewise, the people in our lives do the same thing. They're not usually trying to get our money, but they are trying to get you to believe that you must look, act, think, and feel certain ways or you are not acceptable. They will "help" you fit in/belong. If you don't follow through, you won't be allowed into the "club." You won't be loved. You will be rejected.
Some of us may be able to more easily see through marketers and laugh at their transparent attempts to get us to spend money on useless products - or products whose less expensive counterparts are just as good. We tend to be less adept, however, at ignoring friends and family when they give us messages that we are doing something wrong. "You're not supposed to believe that." "Our family doesn't act that way." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "Don't eat that. You don't want to get fat do you?" "What's wrong with you?" And on, and on. Most of the people in our lives don't realize the impact that their messages have. Some communicate directly, others with body language or other non-verbals (including the "silent treatment"). Regardless of the manner in which these things are communicated, we get very good and figuring out what they want and how we're supposed to act. Because we also realize very quickly we may lose the relationship if we don't conform. If we don't play their game.
Play your game. Do so with respect for those around you; but, whenever possible try to resist the messages that you're not okay just as you are. If you think or do or feel something that ultimately is not true to who you are, you'll figure that out because it won't feel right but not because someone else told you so.
Playing your game is liberating. It allows you to feel a type of confidence that you cannot otherwise feel when you're pretending to be someone you are not.
Play your game. Your game rocks!
Like what you read? Want to read more but don't want to have to keep coming back? Subscribe now! You can get SelfStrong delivered to your RSS reader or delivered right to your email inbox. You choose! Both options are available on the top right of this page.
On a daily basis we are bombarded by commercials, images, and indeed messages from friends and family telling us how we should be and what we ought to be doing. Some messages are intended to get you to spend money other messages are intended to keep the sender of the message comfortable. A not quite so serious, but humorous example of this is some version of - parent to child - "Put on your jacket - I'm cold!" The idea of course is that the parent's experience trumps the child's (And no. I'm not talking about a child going out in freezing temperatures without a jacket). Regardless of the intent, these messages ignore one of, if not the most important elements: YOU!
If I tell you that you need my product in order to improve your looks, your intellect, your ability to get a date I have to rely on my ability to get you to believe that you are lacking in those areas and offer you a solution to your problem. I have no idea who you are or if you even need what I have to sell, but I'm bound and determined to capitalize on your insecurities so you buy my message and eventually my product (there's a reason the diet/beauty industry is a $60 BILLION a year industry). Likewise, the people in our lives do the same thing. They're not usually trying to get our money, but they are trying to get you to believe that you must look, act, think, and feel certain ways or you are not acceptable. They will "help" you fit in/belong. If you don't follow through, you won't be allowed into the "club." You won't be loved. You will be rejected.
Some of us may be able to more easily see through marketers and laugh at their transparent attempts to get us to spend money on useless products - or products whose less expensive counterparts are just as good. We tend to be less adept, however, at ignoring friends and family when they give us messages that we are doing something wrong. "You're not supposed to believe that." "Our family doesn't act that way." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "Don't eat that. You don't want to get fat do you?" "What's wrong with you?" And on, and on. Most of the people in our lives don't realize the impact that their messages have. Some communicate directly, others with body language or other non-verbals (including the "silent treatment"). Regardless of the manner in which these things are communicated, we get very good and figuring out what they want and how we're supposed to act. Because we also realize very quickly we may lose the relationship if we don't conform. If we don't play their game.
Play your game. Do so with respect for those around you; but, whenever possible try to resist the messages that you're not okay just as you are. If you think or do or feel something that ultimately is not true to who you are, you'll figure that out because it won't feel right but not because someone else told you so.
Playing your game is liberating. It allows you to feel a type of confidence that you cannot otherwise feel when you're pretending to be someone you are not.
Play your game. Your game rocks!
Like what you read? Want to read more but don't want to have to keep coming back? Subscribe now! You can get SelfStrong delivered to your RSS reader or delivered right to your email inbox. You choose! Both options are available on the top right of this page.
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