No More Guilty Pleasures

Do you have any guilty pleasures?  You probably do.  Most people probably do.  Favorite shows you like to watch that you watch alone because you don't want anyone else to know?  Music on you mp3 player that you have stored on a secret play list?  Love to read a particular book genre that you aren't supposed to like because you're a man, a woman, or the wrong age?

So why do we feel guilty about these particular pleasures?  Why should we hide the things that we like?  If they provide us with a source of entertainment, or pleasure why on earth do we feel like we cannot possible let anyone else know that we like these things?  Well, because other people have a way of tormenting or ridiculing us for things they think aren't quite "right."  They may do so in a "joking" way - meaning that they hurl an insult at you while laughing or follow it up with "just kidding!"  But does any of that really negate the original comment?  Do we feel any less picked on?  No.  Not really.

What if there were no more guilty pleasures?  What do you think would happen if you unapologetically declared what you like - without shame or guilt?  You don't have to go out of your way to make an announcement about your hidden pleasures; but, what if the next time someone says "I can't believe anyone would actually listen to/watch/read/spend money on/etc. that!" you responded with "Well I do."  Imagine the worst case scenario.  Would that person laugh at you, ridicule you, bring more people into the conversation for the purpose of humiliating you even more?  Any of that would be pretty awful without a doubt.  But ask yourself: Is this person someone who really cares about me?  Are they a friend?  Family member?  Someone else who says they care about you?  If so and they respond to you like that are they worth your time?  I'm not suggesting you cut them out of your life completely but perhaps intentionally limit the amount of time you spend with them - and put them on the "I can't really trust them with who I am list."

There are others out there (hopefully they are in your life now) who might respond to your self declaration with "No.  Really?"  Then realize that you're serious and say something like "Oh.  That's cool," or respond with their own guilty pleasure confession.  In other words, these are the people who respect you for who you are - non-mainstream preferences and all.  These are the people who are solid enough with themselves that they can accept you for exactly who you are without feeling threatened in any way.

So the next time you think of something you like as being a guilty pleasure I challenge you to think of it as simply a pleasure.  Period.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

BTW - I love the Harry Potter movies.  I have ABBA on my playlist.  And my idea of a vacation is a hotel with room service and really good cable tv.   Oh.  And if I can buy something in pink...that's what I'm buying.

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